I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
