I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize