Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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