I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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