My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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