When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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