And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
