Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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