Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
then he tried to convert me to islam
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
