I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
