Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
