dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize