every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
