I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
