Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
