that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
