now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
