I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
