she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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