I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
