I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
