love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
