Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
