So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
