So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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