I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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