redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
