I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
