I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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