You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
