I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
