I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
