You can't motorboat a personality
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
