Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All I want is dick and wine.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
