when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
