Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize