I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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