Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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