Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
