If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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