Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
