I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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