all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
