I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
