wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
