take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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