For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
