my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she peed on how many people?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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