May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
