I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
