I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
