What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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