He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize