Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
