Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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