worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
