im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
