Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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