I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
