i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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