I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
