you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
