I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
