i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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