i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
