No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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