I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
